7.29.2019 – 3 – create the new you now

The new “you” you would like to be more gentle with others.

It’s not boring to take care of yourself and those closest to you. Your base beliefs may need evaluated.

Need to fulfill your own wishes and fix insecurities. need to make confidence a part of self. feeling bad about not having sex together, a friendship with someone needs to end. Let go of concerns about what others think. Stop holding onto old ways of living, being, behaving from others, they are holding you back. do not worry about if they are embarassed or angry, they are irrelevant. let it go. let them go.

Stop relying on others. Be strong and be selfless to your higher self (if you can’t claim being “selfish”)

You know how to be savvy and patient to get what you want, using all resources to your benefit in acquiring what you want.

Stop caring about what others think about how you go about your life and the way you get things you need and want. You are a person of good judgement and moral character, you do what you need to do to take care of yourself and those closest to you.

Don’t harm yourself to please others. You don’t have to be obedient to people who you know aren’t good to you or doing what they need to do in return for your efforts.

Trying to get out of negative cycles and transition into a different state to escape it.

The worst that can happen if found out doesn’t even matter, because those people are not going to get you where you need to be, YOU ARE.

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Legacy Over Everything

How do I want to leave people feeling when they are done interacting with me or my essence?
Do I want them to feel the way others have made me felt?

I have been trying to make up for things I shouldn’t have had to apologize for, but for things they should’ve been making up to me.

I have repeatedly tried and been repeatedly rejected.

It’s protection.

It hurts to try more when I know it will not change.

I do not need to do this anymore.

I can focus my energy and thoughts on those who will appreciate it and use it.
Not those who don’t deserve me and never did.

It hurts because I know they will come back to try to use me,
it’s okay, because like they kept forgetting and rejecting me, I will tell them you had your chances, no more. Remember, you disowned me. You repeatedly shunned me. Therefore now that time is up for you to redeem yourself you have made your choice over and over and while I will spare you my wrath and show you grace and mercy I will not give you what you want.

I’ve been solo and I’ll stay that way if it means not settling for bullshit that’s less than what I deserve or hurting me. No it’s not others’ responsibility for my emotions but it is someone’s expectation when in a close relationship with me that if we are to be together and building anything towards a future goal you need to equally reciprocate and if you can’t or won’t I will not tolerate it I will move on.

11 years to apologize for who I was and the choices I made when I was not doing anything wrong. Just wrong to those who didn’t want me to have my own power.
Flipping the Script.

Thank you for treating me like shit. Thank you for hurting me, neglecting me, rejecting me, abusing me, pushing me away, and disowning me. Thank you for over and over showing me how I don’t need to be assosciated with people like you. Thank you for showing me what not to be like, and what to look out for. Thank you for making me a master at dealing with energies like you so I can help others. Thank you for letting me infiltrate your minds so I can learn what makes you tick and then start my operation of annihilating any traces of you and your diseased kind in this journey of mine in this world.

Thank you for showing me how much I can love, and how much of a good person I can be if I choose to. Thank you for teaching me how to have grace and patience, how to be stoic, how to block energy off. Thank you for underestimating me so I could prove you wrong.

Thanks for always letting me know how much I was not enough for you and how I never will be, now I am great at everything I do.

Thanks for always dismissing my concerns and worries, I now can tolerate so much if I need to. I’m very strong now.

Thanks for always reminding me when you speak of how far I’ve come along and how I was right for not letting you hold me back.

RAVE ON

you said you hated my face

you said my food looked like shit,

but i could already tell from your personality if those things were true your mouth would’ve already quit.

days came to pass,

your moods always different.

some pleasant and sweet,

some short with sass,

never the less you were heaven – sent.

we related with alot, more than I could with most.

you wondered why I was so hard on you during work,

and afterwards more gentle and maternal, letting some things coast.

in you I saw a younger me,

back a bit ago when I started being a moody teen.

who was different and all my life verified that,

I usually felt alone, and like no one really had my back.

We shared contact info and I let you know

anytime your mom can’t be around and you don’t wanna be alone, Im a call or text away and with me is always somewhere you can call a second home.

need food? let’s eat

something dirty? come do some laundry.

want a ride home instead of a walk?

you never really accepted my offers, but you started to smile more around me, and hugs were now offered!

when you heard about my ex, you told me you’ll kill him,

when I quit my job and had to leave, there already was some grief.

I’m glad we kept in touch and grew our friendship more.

even after you found out about my past and job you still never called me a whore.

you were always there to talk with me, about the philosophical sides to this reality.

and how we are labeled as strange and abnormal, when we’re the ones aware of what’s surrounding “the Formal”

you’re not the first of one of my close friends to die, but it still hits me hard every time.

seems like some fucked up kind of joke, that the ones who can see the real me always disappear and go ghost.

but it is what it is,

I know you’re moving on and to you i toast,

Rayvon, you’re an incredible being, and your warm greeting and hug is one of the things I’m looking forward to the most.

till then I’ll send you good vibes when I see your signs, and make sure you’re there waiting for me when I catch up with you on the flipside!

xoxo

Mid-November 2018 Guidance Message

This is a collective intuitive channeled message and tarot energy reading. Take what resonates for you and apply as it fits in your life. 

 

You’re attached to being codependent to an arrogant lying asshole who tries to control your life. You can come out of that as soon as you decide you’re done limiting yourself. Be fair. If someone can’t afford to do something don’t ask them to anyways just to appease you. If one person is doing better than the other you don’t need to hide it from the other but you don’t need to gloat about it either. Someone is trying to be there for you but you’re turning it down to offer your energy to feeling brokenhearted. Get a grip. Turn to creating something or getting spiritual to deal with your stress. You  need to be in control of your own life if you don’t want to be mind fucked. Stop mourning things that can’t be changed. You can do better. If you’re trying to have a new beginning, don’t let some sleazeball come in and try to screw that up for you. You’re the one who’s keeping you stuck. Be still. Detach. What would you want to do with your life if you had no worries? Ah, there it is. You don’t even believe that would ever be possible. You can be happy though and you know what it starts with? It starts with you. You divorcing the lies you’ve told yourself and others and marrying the truth…everything you’ve gone through, done, given, every heart break and loss, they have been the moments that formed and made you into who you are as a person today. You have a big block in relationships due to the fact you take others’ words and actions as a personal reflection of you when it’s actually a reflection of them. You need to know that not feeling enough, the feeling of being stuck, the drama, feeling hopeless, deserving of an unhappy home, it’s all motivated by the devil. You have to be fair and good to yourself and protect yourself from that kind of energy. Be committed to a new good vibe beginning, only dealing with things and people that allow you to grow and be in your zone. Your peace isn’t worth compromising for someone else’s entertainment or lack of dealing with their own problems.

First Week of November 2018 Guidance Message

This is a collective intuitive channeled message and tarot energy reading. Take what resonates for you and apply as it fits in your life. 

 

You go through the hard times so you can appreciate them when they’re good. You struggle so later you’re better prepared when it really matters for you or for someone else you come across. Speaking of someone else, you can learn lessons from them if you can hear them out about their experiences rather than you having to go through it yourself first. Everything happens for a reason. It’s not about where you been or where you are but where you’re going. Look back then till now, see how far you’ve come? Now imagine the changes that are before you if you act now. If things haven’t changed much, then this is your wake up call too. It’s your perception how you take things. Think about alternative ways to respond to people rather than react. This will be a good first step into seeing changes you would prefer. When you’re getting close to giving up hope, or when things finally work out for you, lean on your faith and thank the lord for what you have been blessed with. An awareness to how your primal energy is being used may be needed at this time. Refrain from excessive pleasure of the body to strengthen the spirituality in you. Use that energy to progress yourself forward. If anything is of superficial nature or a substitution for a real thing, that will drain you. You need a beneficial reciprocation in anything for it to be a good and healthy bond. If not, you are depleting and cheating yourself and your partner if you have one of good life force that can be used to create progression in your life. There are more productive things to use that energy for, like manifesting what you want in your life. “Once a ________ always a ________” statements like this aren’t true. People can change for the better. Yes, even yourself. Commitment is here if you’d just stop trying to relive the past over and over long enough to see that they’ve been there waiting for you. You’ll get news of an unfortunate event but will be compensated for it. This has been a long time coming. Even if it doesn’t feel right be sure to stay where you’re at for this time. This will bring in the new offer if you’re silent and still there. It’s not that you want to go, but you are tired of feeling mistreatment and misunderstood. You deserve more and expect more and the truth is you can have whatever you want so why should you put up with it? You’re getting over the fact that they seem unhappy with you no matter what you do and you’re over it because you can get that anywhere. Do not join in the negative mindset. It’s a sad story but your life has been hard enough without all this in it. Those times in your life are over. Now it’s about doing things right. Committing to yourself and your faith remembering you will always be protected and the blessing is waiting for you to let go of what isn’t good for you so it can be gifted to you. If something upsetting from the past returns handle it with a wiser stand point than before. You have everything on your side waiting for you to allow yourself to move forward in your life. You know internally what to do in those moments of peace and silence. Listen.

Healing 101

Telling me to let the past go
when you’re the one still show casing you intimate with other people and touching them inappropriately in front of me and in photos.
But right that’s my just my insecurity though?
Complain about how there’s not enough of “us”
but when the oppurtunity arises you aren’t showing it off and you’re not showing up.
Why say I need to do more of x, y, and z
if when i make an effort you rather do anything else than be with just me?
You care so much about how you come off and treat others yet simultaneously use what I’ve told you against me to push my buttons.
Grab my arm, do me harm, sing a song, ask if I’ll forgive you now and we can get along?
Trauma Bond.
I tell you it’s wrong and you must want a fight,
here comes the gaslight.
“I didn’t do that, you must be crazy. Be careful what you do or they might lock you up in a penitentiary’
This isn’t love, and you don’t own me.
You didn’t realize what you had and you just thought I’d never leave.
I don’t care how long it takes you to grieve, get used to it because now all I’ll ever be to you is a distant memory.
When you hurt an angel
prepared to get mangled
by the demons in your hell.
Your actions and words put you here when you convinced me it was safe to trust you and when I went to fall you didn’t catch me, I just fell.
This pattern keeps repeating,
the voice that nags at me In my head causes my ears internal bleeding.
Like a broken record it does it over
and over.
I want it to end,
I want to get better.
I want to feel like I’m no longer in that world, where only bad things will happen for me and I’m always destined to be disappointed or to always fail.
I don’t know how I’m doing this but I’m trying to get my shit together and keep moving forward without thinking about running away or dying. The more i ramble to express what i feel, the less i feel confident about being understood or heard but I’m trying.
Consideration should be a two way sensation not about what one loyal person does for the other who cannot resist temptation.
What has come of this nation.
Fuck this jibber jabber I’m going to do some saging
before i start raging.
But back to the main point for a conclusion,
your inability to love or be loved, here’s the solution,
love yourself first so you can let others love you.
Be the change,
broaden your emotional range,
don’t care who thinks you’re strange.
Hurting others won’t heal you,
and then you will have karma coming back at you.
Don’t lie for the sake of not hurting someone’s feelings,
because at the end of the day, they don’t deserve to be crying on their beds staring up at their ceilings
wondering why no matter what they do you still don’t seem satisfied to be with them.
/mood

End of October 2018 Tarotscope

Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. You have a full natal chart, and energies can be switched. Apply it how it fits for you. This is a general, not personal reading. 

 

FIRE

Wean yourself if it’s too much at first. Let go of being upset that someone else took care of them self better than you could. The only thing to worry about now is healing yourself. The rest will follow after seeing you’re serious. It’s okay to be happier on your own. No one would blame you. But if you wanted to try again a tip is knowing this person just needs to hear that they weren’t a burden on you. You know you can’t offer them anything legitimate unless you’ve taken care of yourself first. You have to give this person time to grieve the fact that you’ve been selfish. There’s no new drama, they just are keeping their boundaries firm and keeping to themselves.

 

AIR

Have you imagined the loss of your closest person? The reason they think that they’re a burden is because their parents weren’t there like they should’ve been and they feel like there must be something wrong with them. So just express to them how they’re not too much for you. Keeping yourself balanced helps with ignoring external proposals that you don’t want. You have come too far to do some dumb selfish shit. You see how far they’ve come too, and don’t want them to have to start over either. You know they’re who you want you just want to be able to start your new slate clean and fresh. You can have what you want but you just need to be good with this one person or let them go. They were there when no one else was, and you still want them after you’ve gotten more success. Even when things aren’t great they find a way to make it good for you. Make sure to be grateful and caring in return and not abuse your power in the situation over them.

 

WATER

Before someone can be a life guard they are required to meet certain standards and be certified in emergency protocols. Also how can you save anyone if you aren’t saving yourself first? Stop being controlling hoping it’ll help you not lose things. If it’s meant to be out of your life it will be replaced with something else. The inability to accept love is emotional immaturity due to someone else saying you weren’t enough and others are better than you. You are choosing to give that person your own power when you agree to the idea of them finding someone better than you. Get to the point where if someone threatens to leave or say you deserve something less than your worth you won’t hesitate to call their bluff and walk away. It’s not that you don’t love them, it’s that you deserve to be happy and respected, end of story. You might have issues to no fault of your own, and happy or not, it’s only fair you give yourself a break to get back on your feet when you need it. Always working away because someone told you you had to doesn’t mean it’s the Law. You’re the boss of your own life. Not anybody else. If something makes you happy and feel full of purpose the money doesn’t need to be a concern it will follow with time. Quit giving time to things that aren’t good for you and start going after what it is you want to accomplish while you’re here.

 

EARTH

Anyone can be a magician or an evil sorcerer. Just depends how much dedication you apply to your studying and your practice. Also the mindset you choose to carry with your set of skills plays a part in your delivery and reception to your show. Don’t compare yourself to others you find naturally more talented at something than you either because attendance and effort reward eternally with experience. Some naturally with it will never appreciate their gift or be willing to share it with others. You do you. You are the one who needs to tame your emotional beast. No one else can do that for you. You can’t be manipulated by others if you’re “manipulating” yourself already. Anything that makes it harder on your emotions you need to deal with it. Others may be warning your partner to find someone else because of your emotional bullshit. Faith and working on your crafts and skills will bring you out of your anxiety and stress while benefiting you vs. the crap you know won’t. If unfortunately someone from your past who treated you like there was something out there better for them than you comes around don’t give it a second chance. You are over the drama and want to focus on yourself, not them. You don’t need dishonest, unbalanced, manipulative people in your life anymore. That also means you gotta stop your own mind games you play yourself too, right? Cause you ain’t a hypocrite.

 

COLLECTIVE

Say what it is you want said to you. Teal. Communication with the point to reach calmness and clarity. Lavender. Sometimes you have to wait to find how long “forever” will last with something. This waiting time is sacred and precious. It’s time you can better yourself with in preparation for the next stage. How you choose to use it is yours, but in this lifetime it’s time you will never get back. Use it with wise discretion. Dried Rose. You desire to keep the classic idea of romance, love, and beauty as your foundation to all things in your life you build upon. You also encourage and influence others to do the same in their own life. You could have the happiness you want if you focus on what you can do that’s good for you and not waste your time on things that are not. The choice is yours whether to keep things going or not. There’s no better time than now and your emotions are the only thing in your way.

Mid October 2018 Tarotscope

Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. You have a full natal chart, and energies can be switched. Apply it how it fits for you. This is a general, not personal reading. 

 

 

FIRE

You will get what you desire but first you must lay down the chasing of people who serve no purpose other than being a warm body to you. Focus on your dreams and don’t worry about the money because whatever you want from your heart you will get. You were investing in a commitment and the tables have turned and now you do whatever you shall please. Don’t expect them to stay though. Wait… you thought you could have your cake and eat everything else too? No. You can only have yours. Not keep yours and nibble here and there on other things. You know that’s not right. Be honest about the lack of morality that mindset is. You wanted things to go this way and were going to be happy about it before so really sit there and think about what it is you even want. Realize already you’re not balanced enough to know. Focus on the positive things in life. People walked out on you because of your treatment towards them and behavior. It’s not fair and they don’t deserve it. You know that’s not how you treat someone you love. If you want someone else, be honest about it. If you can’t then they need to be let go.

 

WATER

Drinking and drugs never help emotions. If you’re tired of feeling stuck do other things to feel good that aren’t drinking. You should give it a shot and try really hard at recovering from that before you decide to just throw a relationship with someone away. If you’re cheating on them or cheating them out of something that they need then that’s not fair. Fix what feels wrong, right your wrongs, and only do wrongs now when it comes to the things that make you feel trapped. Do what makes you happy and stop giving it to things and people that don’t. With power comes great responsibility. Don’t do it if you can’t submit yourself to the judgement when you’re out of line. Only committing to what’s right will fix the past. Slow down with drama if you want more success. Come out of the victim role. You know what’s manipulating you. You know that ruins your esteem. Get it under control.

 

AIR

This person views your retrieval of efforts as you giving it to somebody else. They think you want to go have fun with other people while you want them to “work on them self”. Your inability to be stable is putting this relationship on a halt. You think vices are more important than something you’ve always wanted? They aren’t going to keep being there for you if you keep adding to their burdens. Invest in a new beginning where you are independent but not unfair and secretive about things. All that contributes to the situation is chaos. You don’t feel good about something because of things that you or someone else did wrong in the past and how others reacted to it. They don’t live your life and they don’t know what it’s like for you. They can’t tell you anything you don’t already know before. Keep to yourself and what feels good to you and you’ll see the good that returns for doing that.

 

EARTH

Don’t sabotage yourself. If you’re feeling victimized you can neutralize it. Pull back and regroup yourself when you feel unstable. Give yourself happiness to get you back to your advantage point. You’re turning down offers that don’t feel good to you even if you can’t decide if that’s the best decision or not. Things are going good but feel stagnant because you still haven’t found ways to keep yourself happy on a consistent basis. Step 1, walk away from drama. Focus on your crafts. Offer your time and effort to yourself if they’re telling you they can’t be there for you like they said they could. They want to use their money on vices. Their lying ins’t going to keep getting slid past you. You want to feel good about the situation and like you can trust them, not like you can’t. They’re going to come out and say how they feel about this. No more efforts to what feels bad to you now. Be happy being independent. Don’t listen to others when it comes to your own creations. Everyone loves someone who doesn’t give up on them self. If they don’t love you for that, they’re a dream crusher, and they gotta go.

Tarotscope All Elements Last Weekend of September 2018

Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. You have a full natal chart, and energies can be vice versa for crossreaders.

 

FIRE

Don’t message anyone if you’re going to be a hypocrite about things. They feel fine without that and they are good on their own because the truth is they didn’t see it going very far with how unhappy you were anyways. The truth is the way you went about leaving a situation someone thought it was bullshit then found out they were right to think that. You wanted this new beginning and this person had the strength you didn’t to get things going. Go do what you want now and be happy without having to live your life as a lie.

 

AIR

Do you know what you want? If you don’t start noticing what’s been built for you and what’s growing with you they can be on their own believe it or not. If you want them you wouldn’t let them feel like you rather be elsewhere. When the negative vibes leave you will start to feel better. If you’re happier on your own then go be on your own. Not two,three,four-timing someone who is loyal to you. Things will get better when there aren’t so many people around who like drama. If they’re happy with that shit that’s fine but they have to take it somewhere else. They are trying to work their emotions or you are before they make a move and offer more. The worst thing they do is self sabotage, sometimes shitty people deserve a taste of their own medicine. Especially when they hurt others with their lies. Don’t be the liar.

 

 

WATER

You’re good on your own so if you know that, why are you not doing what’s responsible and honorable of you to do? You won’t be able to have long lasting calmness in your mind if you keep putting things off that you know are needing to be resolved and concluded. You can see that there was nothing you could do but find happiness on your own. Now you’re doing your own thing and making commitments to yourself. When you stop being greedy and hiding and do what you need to then things will improve for you in your life and your status in the community. You felt emotional before in response to the new opportunity but now see the success in the transition after things’ve calmed down and you’ve had time to reflect. By chance you’ll find out that not everyone wanted you to go but if things were going to stabilize the first thing was to let go of what was no longer aligning anymore. They weren’t cruel but you caused some rift in the situation and they quickly chose their well being over yours. Offering anything at this point is a drain for them that just makes them anxious, and they rather not be around that anymore. They had righteous power behind them to out the truth against dishonesty. That’s why what happened happened, that’s why you now feel relief, this is why you need to let it go and move on. Don’t offer more to what’s hurt you. Follow what you want for yourself now.

 

 

EARTH

It’s rough when you let go of what you once held dear or obligatory to your heart. You have more productive things to put your energy and focus on that will benefit you and bring you to yourself. You decided people will need to meet you 80% of the way with them being content and happy with them self before you consider any attention or effort is put into them from now on. You’re making things way tougher on yourself than you need to. What is meant for you will come naturally without restriction or hesitation. Your mind is jumbled currently. World upside down. Be happy and indulge in your arts and spirituality right now. Take care of the person most important in your life, you. You’re moving on slowly after realizing the truth about how there’s no commitment to you in this. Now you have no excuse to not work on your projects, and you can heal so you don’t get codependent again. You think they may or may not have other options but does it even matter? You don’t trust it, you don’t feel good about it, so take this new chapter as one where it starts off you secluding yourself and figuring things out. People won’t defend you if you act out or make them feel like they’re wasting their time and efforts on you. Someone may pretend to want to offer you something again but it’s only because they feel shitty so to make themselves feel better here they are back again to fuck with your head. The right people will offer you loyalty, love, and the world. Will support you and be there good and bad times. Be on your pursuit of happiness. Share your stories and wisdom. Good luck is on your way. Don’t let a manipulator push your buttons, distract you, and ruin your opportunities. Stay focused, and keep to yourself. Get your emotions in check. Get yourself together. Deceptive people are negative energies and you can’t be a part of it if you’re trying to evolve and grow. Use creative outlets and chances to experience and learn new things as a way to forget about the betrayals and pains. Stability, money, and finding a happy place to call home will follow you when you use Law of Attraction to realize you’re already abundant and good enough just the way you are. Committing to success is the first step to doing something about making your own dream come true. Don’t talk about it, just do the damn thing.

 

 

 

End of August to Beginning of September 2018 Tarotscope All Elements

Fire

You can’t expect others to give you what you want if you don’t even know that yourself. You may quit something that others would view as sad or hard to let go of but you actually wanted this because you want to focus elsewhere. Someone feels better off due to nothing being shown for the time invested and feeling like all the arguing is due to someone offering things to someone outside of the union. They’re not going to do anything though because they feel like you should be the one who comes out and says what ever it is that you need to say. You can’t make offers when you’re not stable. You can’t progress in life much if you’re not stable and you know you’ve been partaking in something toxic and/or addictive that confuses your judgement and rationalization skills. Everyone else can’t always be the enemy. Look at what you are giving your power to. Find the confidence, strength, and compassion to offer the world your Best Self once again. You deserve happiness too, karma can be cleared. Now is the time to be a balanced new you.

Air

You could be really happy but you choose to be a way that makes this other person suffer from major anxiety instead. You don’t properly show them security and affection. Someone is going to feel left out or leave if they keep feeling like you’re incapable of being committed and being emotional or have the ability to atleast self reflect. This doesn’t make for a happy home and they are tired of dealing with the bullshit. You have been known to be manipulative and sneaky, when two people tried to say something they got cut out for it, and nothing can seem to stick long in your life. Who’s fault is that? You are anxious because you think you are better off on your own but the right thing to do in this situation is not go out and spend your time and money with others but better spent on yourself and closest ones to you, putting down some bad habits, and investing more into your personal interests and relationships. When has lying ever worked for you long term? Or made you happy? Maybe you only feel this way because you’re too busy comparing things or people you shouldn’t be. You know in your heart that with a little more love and support you can see that would allow the other person to bloom fully into them self through what they have with you in the relationship. Offer them no manipulation, no anxiety, and alot of happiness, and you know it’ll turn out better than you had wished for. Be open with your feelings and take the lesson with the blessing and go forward with healing and then you can grow and be stronger.

Water

You can have more options, stop giving so much to someone who doesn’t place you first in their life. The truth is deep down you know this investment hasn’t been fulfilling but you can turn the situation around 180 if you stop caring about what others say and think about what you do. You’re happy going “nowhere” but others may view you negatively for that but that’s because they’re insecure within themselves not being able to feel validated and secure at a contentment level border-lining “mediocre” in society’s standards. You want a renewal in your life with something or someone that you’re passionate about and a commitment you are coming out about how you feel about them. Someone maybe doesn’t want to fight about how they don’t feel you’re really there for them the same because they think it’s them just being insecure. They are doing what they can to deal with all that you’ve put them through, because you were selfish and not balanced. Now you are and you want to do what’s right. Things are alot happier when you boost their confidence. If you’re really paranoid, make sure you’re not under some influence. Also make sure you’re not being too idle because that can create bad manifestation as well.

Earth

This is what you’ve been wishing for. Just gotta work a little bit longer at it. If you need to be a little more reserved to feel better just explain why you are doing so. Recently you said how you felt about a situation and things have been adjusting around your preferences. You have what you’ve been hoping for but haven’t been able to feel the success of reaching this point yet. You can’t see it but out of nowhere you’re going to be receiving something good that’ll make you happier. You are so upset over what’s happened that you haven’t stopped to see all the inner work this other person has been doing. You’re beyond ripe for creating something huge and wonderful. You’re anxious and can’t sleep because you feel ugly, tainted, and worthless. You have to know and remember you are radiantly attractive, abundant, creative, caring, and you got this. You don’t see yet how much blessing is waiting for you in this union. You are strong it’s okay to be vulnerable and happy at the same time. You are caring more about what selfish miserable people have said and think you deserve shit and for someone who doesn’t put up with other people’s bullshit that’s some bullshit right there telling yourself that. So quit creating drama and unhappiness if you want to feel content. In the past they may not have offered much but that’s changing now, so get ready. There was something you set out to do before but things happened which made it become another burden for you to carry. Especially when you are remembering when others would tell you your life has been hard because that’s what you’ve deserved. You deserve to be happy and if a relationship isn’t doing it for you you’re not going not stay stuck. You don’t need to be controlled while they’re doing whatever they want. Take back your power and regain balance. You’ll be happy alone if they can’t get right because that’s not at all what you wanted when you got with them and there’s no second chances if they don’t try to make it up right away. It’s not worth it to be treated that way. Something may make you want to explode but it may be better to just get out for a bit. Understand others may not see you for who you really are but they do try to be fair and give you your independence but also try to care for you at the same time. It might look questionable or shady to others, but who really cares its about you and them at the end of the day.